A rather more experimental Mikiature this time, where "experimental" is synonymous for "desperate". I'm not the first person in the world - I think I'm probably the seventh or eighth - to have noticed that 95% of the bad words in English begin with D. It took me over 200 minutes to write these 200 words. I wonder if that makes me the slowest (and worst) writer in history? OK, here goes. If you want to hear me trying to read my rubbish, click here . . .

Da, Da, Da


Driving disastrously down Drizzly Descent during Denmark’s depression, Dreamy Dave deemed “dem d-words” decidedly demoralising:


dum d-words -> damn, dank, dark, dearth, death, debt, die, dim, dirt, don’t, doom, dope, doubt, drown, drab, dread, dregs, drink, drone, droop, drop, drugs, dull, dumb, dump, dusk, dust, Dan, Darth, Dick


dum-da d-words -> damage, danger, darkness, daunting, D-Day, deadline, deadly, deathbed, deathtrap, deathly, debris, defect, demon, despot, devil, dickhead, didn’t, dimwit, dingy, dipstick, dire, dirty, dismal, dodgy, doesn’t, dogshit, doomsday, dopey, downside, downturn, dozy, dragon, drama, drawback, dreaded, dreary, drowsy, dungeon, Duncan, Dalek, Davros


dum-da-da d-words -> dangerous, dastardly, defecate, demonise, denigrate, desperate, destitute, detriment, devilish, difficult, dogsbody, Dracula, Damien


da-dum d-words -> debase, default, degrade, demean, deny, depressed, deride, descend, despair, despise, detract, distress, defeat, Denise


da-dum-da d-words -> damnation, defective, deficient, degrading, demeaning, demonic, denial, depressing, derision, despondent, dilemma, disaster, discouraged, disparage, disturbing, dramatic, Delilah, Drusilla


da-dum-da-da d-words -> degenerate, demoralise, demotivate, discouraging, disparaging, draconian, Dickensian, Demetrius


da-da-dum-da d-words -> desperation, destitution, diabolic, disadvantage, disappointment, disillusion, Desdemona


D-word detractors despised Dave’s diabolically drafted “Daft Dimerick”:


Dave’s Daft Dimerick


Drusilla’s Dad’s definitely deadly

Delilah’s deeds detonate debris

Damnation! Despair!

Dark demons declare,

“Dis dimerick’s downrightly deathly!”


Dear, doh dear, doh dear!