Facebook for the Intellectually-Challenged

I think I'm getting there. Slowly but surely . . .

If you click on Home, you get a random string of posts from a load of people you may or not know. The technical term for this is News Feed apparently. This is also the place to go if you want to poke people. Where or how, I do not know. Strictly speaking, the invitation is to "poke back", which I find worrying, as it suggests they have already "poked" me without my even realising it.

If you click on Profile, you get an even bigger picture of yourself, and suddenly the only posts you can see are yours. There are also a few other differences to the Home page: it tells me when my birthday is (always good to know), and suggests I could do with more friends, together with pictures of "people you may know" who I have never heard of in my life. I suppose "people you may know" is short for "people you may know one day".

So much for the basics. After that, it's simply a question of clicking randomly and manically, and writing as many silly comments as you can think of in 15-20 minutes. Clicking for a living is all well and good, but it won't get the dinner on the table. Well, not in my household, anyway. I definitely did something wrong in a previous life, I suspect.

It's always good to read that Tammy Whammy and Lemmy Hammy - or whoever - "are now friends". It seems that a lot of people must spend their online time arguing, and it's a pity that we don't get any "have fallen out (again)" messages. Possible improvement for version 2?

Particularly rude are messages like "Jo Boghead is now friends with Sam Bignose, Jeff Bumsore and two other people". How come Sam and Jeff get their names in print, but poor old Colin Raphead and Mike Church are dismissed as two insignificant blobs in our virtual universe?

I think I'm going to go off and have a sulk. But not for long. I've got to get the breakfast, do the shopping, make the lunch . . . Oh, and work for 10 hours, I nearly forgot. Living in the real world is pretty tough, too, sometimes.